Dear JT,
As hard as it is to believe, you have been home a year! We are so blessed to have you in our family. There were so many obstacles and delays while we were working to bring you home. Now I know all those obstacles and delays were there for a reason. If they had not been happened exactly as they did, we would not be the luckiest family on earth to have you in our family.
We arrived in China on Monday March 17, 2008. We were supposed to receive you when we arrived. However, due to flight delays, we did not get to our hotel until after 10:30 p.m. So it was decided it would be better to wait until the morning. I was sad but understood, you were already exhausted from your travel and I am sure you were sound asleep when we arrived in China. We were also told you were staying in a hotel in the area as the drive from the Orphanage to Changsha is about 5 hours. Oh how I just wanted you right then, especially knowing you were somewhere close by! Just 24 hours earlier we were half way around the world away from you. Now, we were in the same city and I still had to wait to hold you.
On the morning of Tuesday March 18, 2008 big sister, M.E. and I woke upearly. How could we sleep? In less than four hours, we were going to finally get to hold you and kiss those beautiful chubby cheeks we had been staring at for four months! After a quick bite to eat, or a drink in my case I had way to much nervous energy going on, we met our guide and driver and were taken to the Civil Affairs Office in Changsha. I tried to take everything in so I would remember every second but alas, it didn't work. All I could think about was meeting you.
We were brought up to a room with beautiful wooden furniture. We were the only family there. You had not arrived yet and S and I kept looking out the window to see if we could catch a glimpse of you from the 4th floor of thecivil affairs office. Every time we heard the elevator door open, we were hoping it was you. After about a 20 minute (felt like 20 hour) wait, we heard those elevator doors, and for the last time, hurried over to look and there you were! You were dressed in four layers of clothing with a new bright red quilted outfit on top. You were sweaty and your chubby cheeks were so red. Your beautiful dark eyes were filled with worry. You were being carried by a man from the orphanage that you seemed quite comfortable with. You were also accompanied by the assistant director from the orphanage Ms. Wang. You were clutching a toothbrush still in it's wrapper from the hotel you had stayed at. While my guide and the orphanage officials were checking paperwork and passports to make sure everything was in order, we had to wait another five minutes. During that five minutes, I took a lot of photo's, all of them look alike but I just could not stop. Oh those cheeks and those beautiful worried puppy dog eyes.
I was beyond excited and happy but so sad for you. You were about to be ripped away from everyone and everything you knew for the first 14 months of your life. These caring people took care of you, fed you, bathed you, took you for medical check ups, and played with your for the past 14 months. Now they were about to place you with complete strangers and you had no idea why. You didn't know that we already loved you, that we would be kind, and take care of you. You didn't know how much our hearts broke knowing the trauma you were about to endure. You didn't know we would give you the time and space you need to grieve your loss. You didn't know that you would be showered with love and affection. You didn't know we would be there for you forever, never to leave you or give you up. You didn't know we were your family, your family forever.
FINALLY, it was time. I passed off the camera and held out my arms to you. You did not want to come to me. You screamed and pushed away from me. I knew you were so scared and all I could do was reassure you in a language you did not understand that everything would be OK and we understood your pain. I immediately knelt down and placed you on your sister’s lap as I knew she wanted nothing more than to hold you too. You could not be consoled. For another five minutes there was a flurry of sign here, sign there, show us your passport, sign everywhere ect. Good thing we trusted our guide (she was wonderful!) I could have been signing my life away!
I continued to hold you, gave Ms. Wang a hug, and in the best Chinese I could muster up told her Xie Xie (thank you) and we were ushered out to our van. By this time you had moved from screaming to a soft whimper while looking at us like you were completely lost on our 15 minute ride back to the hotel. You were distracted by looking out the van window. You seemed to love watching the people outside. You were so hot. You still had on four layers and it was a beautiful, sunny 75 degree day.
Once we got back to our room, we broke out the toys, books, bubbles, and snacks! You had stopped crying but looked like at any moment, the tears would start flowing again. A worried, sad, concerned look had taken over your whole face. Your big sister went right to work when we got into our room to help make you feel better. She blew bubbles, read to you, took out toys, rubbed your back, and broke out the snacks. Your bonding process with S started almost immediately. Knowing you would eventually bond to all of us, we stepped back and let this most important relationship develop before overwhelming you with physical contact. We had hoped you would be drawn to your big sister and you were. S was going through her own emotional roller coaster as well and we wanted you and your big sister to start off with a strong bond from the first day forward.
As we watched you and your sister interact, we blew bubbles, and started to slowly peel off the layers of clothing just a little bit at a time. The rest of the day was devoted to just being together. It is absolutely amazing how quickly you adjusted. I always tell people to imagine taking their baby and giving him/her to a Chinese family he/she has never met, and five minutes later, walk out the door. You were taken from the only family you had ever known, handed over to strangers and left with us. How traumatic for you. Yet you proved to be such a resilient, determined little soul. You made the best of it and flourished.
Big sister wanted to do EVERYTHING for you. She wanted to be the one to feed you, change you, bath you, put you to bed, brush your hair ect. After you and your sister played for quite a long time, we got a bath ready for you. You were OK with it until I washed your hair. Then you decided you wanted nothing more to do with that bath. It was like bathing a cat! I was soaked, the bathroom was soaked, and I'm not sure your hair ever got washed that night! S fed you some snacks, read to you, and gave you some baby cereal. By the end of the night, you only wanted your big sister. If she moved, you would follow her with your eyes. If S moved out of reach, you would do everything you could to get near your big sister. It was precious to watch the two of you get to know each other. S got your first smile and first laugh. If you had bonded to me first and not with S, it would have just crushed her little spirit and the process for sisters to bond, would have been much more difficult. I could not have asked for it to work our any better.
When we received you, it was clear you were clean, healthy, and well cared for. It was apparent during our visit to the orphanage a day after Gotcha Day that the staff there really loved you. However, as in most group care settings, the children don't always get the floor time they need to develop the muscles needed to crawl or walk. You were 14 months on Gotcha day but could not crawl or walk. She could stand on your very wobbling legs if you were holding onto something sturdy. But it was clear, you needed floor time to build those muscles you need to crawl and walk. Usually when you pick up a 14 month old baby, they hold on. Not You! You just didn't have the muscle control yet. But by the end of the first night though, you wanted to be with Shea so badly that you figured out how to get from point A to point B. I wouldn't call it a crawl and it took you forever, but you never gave up, you just wanted to get to your big sister. It was so hard watching you struggle and hard not to just go bring you to your big sister, but we knew how important this floor time was for your development. You never got frustrated or cried, you were just absolutely determined to get to your big sister. Thus, you were crawling before we left China.
On March 18, 2008 we received a very confused, sad, grieving 14 month old baby girl. You could not walk, crawl, or pull yourself up. You did not speak or understand one word of English. On March 18 , 2009, one year later, you are a happy, well adjusted, intelligent, bundle of energy. JT, you are full of....."spirit" You are always ready to rock and roll! And if we aren't ready, to bad for us, you will go on alone! You are fearless and will fight to the bitter end to stand up for how you think things should go :) You can throw the temper tantrum of all temper tantrums. And you don't seem to mind if you do it in the mall, in the grocery store, in the car....drawing a crowd doesn't seem to bother you one bit :) I call you my textbook toddler. You throw yourself on the floor, kick your feet, yelling the whole time about all the injustices in your world :) You use drawers to climb onto the counter, scale bookshelves (thankfully attached to the wall). You have figured out how to pull the outlet covers out AND put hem back in, how nice of you (note to self, need another kind of outlet cover). You have most recently decided that figuring out how to escape from you car seat is of utmost importance. Because hey, to you it seems ridiculous to be strapped into this useless piece of equipment and can't understand why when you say "out, out,out" over and over, I don't take you out. You go down slides kids your age wouldn't dream of tackling. You loved when her big sister gave you an underdog on your swing, 1st week home, and went upside down. I had a heart attack, S was so scared she hurt you, and there you were, hanging upside down (thank God for safety features, you were held in by a five point harness) laughing and wanting to do it again.
You make us laugh, keep us on our toes, and are such a complete joy to be with. You are so full of life and always ready to give big hugs with your chubby little arms. You are a such a blessing! My favorite part of the day is when I pick you up and I hear "Mommy!" and you run to me as fast as you can and wrap your chubby little arms around my neck laughing, giggling, and saying mommy, mommy, mommy! I hope you know I am just as excited to see you!
Whatever you decide to do as a adult, I hope your life finds you happy and healthy. I do know, with your determination and resilience, the sky is the limit for you! You will accomplish anything you put your mind to. And I look forward to seeing it!
Happy Gotcha Day Baby Girl!! We Love you!
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